Striving for simplicity

By Heather
A blog I follow, A Place Called Simplicity, has started a new bit called Striving for Simplicity, little bits that people do to try to make their lives easier and less stressful. I've decided to join in this week, and so here is my little bit I do to make my life easier for this week.

This is a lovely decorative and colorful basket of underwear that I have on the back of the toilet, there is a different one on a different toilet. These baskets make Acer's and my lives easier. Acer is indeed potty trained, but sometimes he's just too distracted to pay attention to the signs in a timely manner. For those times, we have the basket. All he has to do is simply reach into the basket, and pull out a fresh pair of clean dry underwear.

For the record, Acer has about 30 pair of underwear. Only about a half dozen have we bought for him, if we were out and it was an emergency. The rest are hand me downs that don't seem to wear out. The result, they last forever, and Acer walks around wearing Sith underwear. Yes, the darkside resides on Acer's butte.

Hello New Breadmaker (and other stuff)

By Heather
Thank heavens the thrift store had the bread machine I've had my eye on still in stock. It was way up on a top shelf, and two others had come in, priced at twice as much. My bread machine only cost $7.50 instead of the $15 that the others would have. I know it has a smaller capacity, but instead of the cylindrical loaves our old one had, this one bakes rectangular block shaped loaves. The first loaf was indeed tasty, but at about 1/3 smaller volume than the other, I'll be baking more often. One thing with using the breadmaker, Calliandra didn't like sandwiches until we started making our own bread. Now she likes them just fine for lunches.

The thrift store was a treasure trove today, I was able to pick up the breadmaker, a used Lazy-boy desk chair for Bill (to replace a broken one), a garden scoot for me, some highball glasses for the kids (harder to knock over with the thick bottoms), and a couple other things. Mum picked up a very nice assortment of 6 tops to go with two new pairs of pants. Later Acer and I went back and he was able to buy a drum toy (I'd spotted it earlier) and a Simon game with his own money. Thank Heavens for patient cashiers, and two registers open as Acer pulled 81 cents out, coin by coin, 3 quarters and 6 pennies. Acer had already handed the cashier his 'Paper Money', all his money, he didn't bother to count that out for some reason.

I like our thrift store, it goes to support local homeless shelters, it has better prices than the big chains, SA or SVdP, the current Manager thinks that the kids, Acer in particular are just the greatest. So, because he came over and talked to Acer while Acer was delving for coins (Acer gave him $2 'to look at') I asked Acer if he wanted to play piano for him. The Manager's seen 'the Cold Spaghetti Band' video, but in that, Acer is drumming. It was a surprise for him to see Acer playing the piano. Acer chose one of our church band songs 'Strength will rise' and made it through 3/4's of it before declaring that he didn't know any more and was done.

Both our kids are so musical, but in different ways. Calliandra is straight out hard work and practice, playing songs already written. She is very quick to figure out how to play just about any instrument put into her hands, and usually the first song played will be 'Ode to Joy'. Just today she played a hammer dulcimer at her piano teacher's house. Within about 15 minutes there she was and there it was, 'Ode to Joy'. Calli can take any song she knows well, and within one or two tries, play the melody smoothly. Acer is naturally musical, he listens to Calli do something and figures out how to do it, but he's more Jazz and improvisation, taking pieces of music he knows and adding to; them swooping off into other pieces and then back to the original. He is almost as talented on the piano as he is on drums, but drums are his love. Last night, while he was in bed (with a toy piano) we were downstairs and suddenly we heard the Marine corps hymn. Yes, he'd heard Calli practicing it for choir, and suddenly he was sounding it out clearly enough that we had to check to see who was actually playing the piece. I know there will always be people more talented than they, but I think that those people may not be as well rounded as our two. Our two have been blessed with more than average talent in many things, not just music and we have been blessed by them,

Bye Bye Breadmaker

It's been almost a year now that we've been making our own bread. We may have purchased some during this time, but it's probably no more than half a dozen loaves in the whole year. We'd obtained out bread maker for free, when our neighbor across the street had moved, and left it by the curbside. It has been a good, loyal machine, churning out loaves of bread, at least one a week for the past year. Tonight however, it evidently tried power plug bungee jumping and failed severely. Bill had a loaf in, it was just at the end of the mixing stage, when Kerplunk, Crash, Bang down it went. Obviously, the power cord did not have enough bounce power to bring the bread machine back up to the counter, and it smashed on the floor. If it had been a week night, I could have run out and gotten another and at least saved the loaf, but no, it's Sunday, and the stores were closed. Bill's bread, a rye, corn and wheat mix, will have to be totally remade, another day. Here's hoping that the one bread machine I've seen at our local favorite thrift store is still there tomorrow.

Busy Busy BT's

This week, aside from having the joy of a family celebration of Memorial Day at Bill's parents, was particularly busy especially towards the weekend.

On Friday, Bill went with Calli to a pen-pal meeting day. I'm not sure if other states/areas are doing this, but in our area, children are getting pen-pals from other schools. They write back and forth all year and then meet in the end. Calli's pen-pal was named Devon, and we weren't sure if it were a boy or a girl. This is especially tough for Calli to figure out as she doesn't know a lot of the social signals that would say boy or girl to the rest of us. In Mandarin, there is no pronoun for he or she, him or her. There is is just one word for he, she, it. This whole year, Calli would tell us about children in her class, using the wrong pronoun, and we would just guess from the name. She's far better at it than in the beginning of the year, but in the case of a name like Devon, she had to ask her teacher.

This year, the pen-pals met at a bounce house, where Calli'd been for her second Honor Roll field trip, and then went to a park later. There was much excitement, talking, laughing and hanging out. Both girls gave each other stationery, and their home addresses to keep in touch. I think it was a really good experience for Calli.

After dinner that whole family had a treat; Calli's school next year, our neighborhood school had a fun fair. I was pleased that so many teachers greeted Calli by name, the school had sent 6 to Forest Park to observe, and they all remembered her. She was also greeted by some of her fellow Brownies, and new friend Mya. There were games in many rooms, paid for by tickets, and Calli and I cruised from room to room while Bill and Acer generally wandered around outside and played on the playground. Oddly enough, there were many older kids, 5th and 6th graders, who knew Acer by name. I think some of them had met him through Band, when Acer visited, or had watched him one day in music class when Acer played Fur Elise on the piano. Some knew him because they were aides, helping get him on the bus in the afternoon. It was cute to see how many did know him. Usually the younger child is known as the older one's sibling. In Calli's case, it's the other way around.

Saturday morning, we got up at 4:30 to be able to leave on time to go to a VI sports day on the other side of the state. We arrived a tiny bit early but not much. The kids were the first on the climbing wall, and on the horses. Our Alex was able to join us and the children were thrilled to see her. Alex got to see Calli in action in Goalball, Calli's favorite sport. Calli is good, almost up to playing with the high school kids good. Her first game, she scored all three points for her team, and won the game for them. She was playing wing, not center that time, and there was a high schooler playing center on the other team so I think she did well to get the balls past him. In his defense, his cross throws in the next game, when he was a wing and she was a center, were the hardest throws for Calli to guard against. Calli would block on a line with the impact sound of the ball, and the ball would be continuing off on an angle. She was able to figure it out, but it took a few throws for her to get it.

After the Vi sports day, we went back to Alex's grandparents house and enjoyed the pool. We left just after three, stopped for a Sonic on the way home, and arrived later than Acer's bedtime, but figured it wouldn't be too bad because he could sleep in, in the morning.

Nope, Not our Acer, he was up at 6, just like any school day. sigh. He does try his hardest to be quiet, but there are certainly things that he needs to talk to us about. After church, Acer ended up staying home, to his great dismay. He was going to go to Bill's softball game, but when Bill looked out the house and saw that Acer had not gotten into the car to get ready to go as requested, but rather had gone out to the middle of the road and was spinning around like a top. This was a first, and there was no excuse, Acer knows exactly where the driveway ends and the street starts. Bill and Calli went off to the game (we lost) and Acer went down for a nap. When Acer is too tired, or too hungry he cannot regulate his actions. He knows he's making bad choices, but it doesn't matter, his regulator is gone and the behavior is not good. Even if he tries his hardest, he can only manage to be good for a matter of minutes before he acts up again. He can only go about 2 hours before he needs to eat again.

So after he had his nap, Lo and Behold, the well behaved loving Acer was back and there was peace in the house. While were at the VI spots day, the kids, including Alex, had been given T-shirts and goody bags. The goody bags were great for Acer because everything in his made noise. The good bag was Acer's entertainment for the day, I let him get out one toy after another and he was just as happy as could be.

Yes, all those toys that other parents hate, those New Years Eve noise makers, whistle,s all those things were in there and Acer loved them. We do have the Loud House, just in case you wondered, we have all those toys that other parents shun, and try to get rid of, pianos, drum toys, you name it. In fact Acer's discovered both money and garage sales this year and he has learned to simply go in and ask if they have any toys that make noise. It saves time and effort on his part. So far he has only bought one guitar toy, telling me it was his 'Final Choice' and carefully counting out eight quarters into the person's hand. We have now been to 4 garage sales and Acer cannot be pushed into buying something he doesn't want. One about 12 year old boy tried, but it didn't work. For me it makes walking around the neighborhood with him worth it, he is learning both about money and making choices about buying.

Operation Sweetness and Light

By Heather
That's what we've re-named the Fake it 'til it takes idea. It has a much better sound about it doesn't it. Tonight, Mum, Calliandra and I sat down and discussed how the past three days had gone. All agreed that life was more pleasant, and that it was worth continuing.

I surprised them by telling them how I knew whether they were practicing it or falling back into old habits, I told them I didn't even need to hear what was being said. I could tell from another floor simply by the undertones of their voices. Mum's would get deeper and angrier, and Calli's would get sharper and whinier. When I hear that I simply sing out 'Sweetness and Light, Sweetness and Light' and the voices change back into normal caring voices. Sometimes, If I'm close, I will suggest alternative phrasing so that the Sweetness and Light shines through better.

Interestingly enough, it seems to have opened up something in Mum. A storytelling bit that she hasn't used in years. She will start bringing up her past, stories about her Mother, and other relatives that she remembers from her childhood and young adult stage. I've heard stories I've never heard before, or if I've heard them I feel more able to ask questions to draw more of the stories out of her.

They've also discovered a commonality in their early lives, Calli lived in the foster home, and Mum in a boarding school. Because of this new peace, they were able to exchange stories an compare similar experiences. It was really nice to hear the excitement in Calli's voice as she asked questions and exchanged memories with Mum. Mum told her bits about the boarding school that she'd never told me, because I didn't know to ask about.

All in All, Operation Sweetness and Light has been a good thing. I'm now thinking about how to implement something similar with Acer, something he'll understand and like too.

Please keep this on your long term prayer list

Prayers about Acer's schooling next year. The teachers and support staff are really worried about how this will work. We really need to find just the right person to be Acer's full time aide. Mandarin Speaking, Pinyin writing, willing to learn Braille, creative on how to explain subjects to Acer by making touch pictures. Keep this on your permanent prayer list, and spread the word to others too.

The Coke Zero & Mentos Rocket Car

Because they are so dern cool

National Parks, Free Lifetime pass

By Heather
(copied from a yahoo group)

Happy Memorial Day.

Here is something that I thought you might be interested in and want to take advantage of. It is a great opportunity for the whole family to travel through the wonderful National Parks in the U.S. Take a look at the National Parks website: http://www.nps.gov/ as well as read the note below which is from that site.

Click below to visit the site.

America the Beautiful National Parks and Federal Recreational Lands Pass
Access Pass - Free.

This is a lifetime pass for U.S. citizens or permanent residents with permanent disabilities (including legal blindness). Documentation is required to obtain the pass. Acceptable documentation includes: statement by a licensed physician; document issued by a Federal agency such as the Veteran's Administration, Social Security Disability Income or Supplemental Security Income; or document issued by a State agency such as a vocational rehabilitation agency. The pass provides access to, and use of, Federal recreation sites that charge an Entrance or Standard Amenity. The pass admits the pass holder and passengers in a non-commercial vehicle at per vehicle fee areas and pass holder + 3 adults, not to exceed 4 adults, at per person fee areas (children under 16 are admitted free). The pass can only be obtained in person at the park. The Access Pass provides a 50 percent discount on some Expanded Amenity Fees charged for facilities and services such as camping, swimming, boat launching, and specialized interpretive services. In some cases where Expanded Amenity Fees are charged, only the pass holder will be given the 50 percent price reduction. The pass is non-transferable and generally does NOT cover or reduce special recreation permit fees or fees charged by concessionaires.

Fake it 'til it takes

By Heather
In March 14th, Mum slipped twice in the bathroom and smashed her head against the tub each time. James took her to emergency, and I came later. James went home and I spent all that night until the next afternoon with Mum. She was concussed, and running a fever, and her brains just weren't working. Mum spent 8 days in the hospital as they tried different antibiotics to bring her fever down. She had bronchitis, and wasn't sleeping well on top of it, and they just weren't really able to get her stabilized quickly at all. Every time her fever went up, her brain power went down.

When it was time for Mum to come home, she came here. We didn't want her to be on her own and she needed a recliner to sleep in, and the only one in both households was here, in the space under Calli's loft. So Calli and Mum became roommates. It's working out okay, Calli likes having someone sharing the room with her. Also,as soon as she felt rested and able, Mum decided to take over laundry duty for the family, she likes doing a load a day instead of my having a big laundry day. She also has taken charge of the dishwasher. It's her way of giving back.


Mum's bedroom also needed a lot of sorting and revision to make it safer for her. Whenever we can, which turns out to be every couple weeks, Calli, Mum and I go over to sort. We have to go when there is someone to watch Acer, and all three of us are available. We each have our assignments, and are able to work on them for a couple hours before my allergies send us back home.

So, Mum has been here for two and a half months, and things have been going pretty well, except now we find we need to do some major attitude revising.

As far as I know, this is the closest that Mum has had to 'normal' family life in about 60 years. Growing up, she was sent to a boarding school, and in our house, Mum made lots of dinners and froze them so we just ate whenever, we didn't have assigned chores, and our rooms were as clean or as messy as we wanted. Even the idea of all eating together took Mum some getting used to when she got here.

Now about the attitudes, there is no one who can push my buttons into explosion mode faster than Mum. Acer and James run a very close second, but Mum takes the cake, so this has been a strain for me. Bill has lived with it well, but eventually he had to step and mention her attitude to me too, to protect Calli. Mum is almost automatically negative, it's a habit she doesn't even realize. She picks and pokes at the kids, Acer fires back, bellowing at her (which is not right, but he is protecting himself). Calli doesn't, she has very little protection, she tends to just get quiet and hang her head. These last two days, Calli has started sounding like Mum as they go back and forth, and towards Acer. So it was beyond time to get this under control. I tried introducing the bucket book concept to Mum last weekend, it didn't work. She just didn't internalize it.

Today, she and Calli had an exchange of snipes when both were trying to do a good thing together. There was no reason to have it, and I had to tell Mum, that I felt she had infected Calli in only two months. Calli did not behave like this before. I needed a plan to help them both, I needed a simple one and I needed it fast. So, Fake it 'til you Make it came to mind. Both seemed to ike the idea, and I said that they needed to act (Glenda the good witch was Mum's character) like they were polite and loving and encouraging even if they didn't feel it. I told them we would practice it until Monday night, when we would discuss it and how it felt. So, Prayers about this, because I don't want Mum bringing us down, I want her to be able to learn and change even if she has resisted it all these years.

Follow the Miao Miao's blog

I wrote earlier about the woman in Seattle who had run out of funding for her degree and was needing help.
She has decided to finish her degree at a less expensive college, but still needs help. Check out her blog Here

Using Money

Exciting day here at the BT household. First, Morley Candy/Saunders candy gave away FREE Mackinaw Island style fudge. Yes, I got up early and drove right over there to get our half pound of 'Chocolaty Goodness' (Acer's term for anything delicious and chocolate). They gave away 2010 half pounds of fudge to kick off summer - gotta love that.

On my way home I stopped at the county Library for the Blind and Embossed Calli's church liturgy for Sunday. Our pastor emails it to me, and then I simply stop by and quickly translate it into Braille (just like changing fonts) then instead of hitting print, I hit emboss. the Embosser makes lots of noise, think Dot matrix printer on steroids, but it does a very fast job far more accurately than I could Braille it out myself.

Acer came home, and to his joy, he did not have to dash right out again after lunch to go to school. Nope, he had a half day and we took advantage of it. We took his bike out, and he biked, I walked backwards in front of him to a garage sale on the next block. It was pretty far for a bike newbie, but her made it. He'd also brought piggy bank money of his own to spend. I thought he'd not find anything, but there were two toys that made noise, Acer's main consideration is any toy. He ended up spending * quarters of his own money, carefully counted out one by one, for a toy guitar. This was the first time he'd ever paid for anything on his own so I fielded a lot of questions on the way home. The one answer that made him the saddest was the answer to the question, 'When will I get my two dollars back?' He was sad to learn that the other people kept the money so he could keep the guitar. He came out with a few other questions like that the rest of the afternoon, and now seems happy with his first purchase.

When we came back, it was time to make pulled pork for the local homeless men's mission. The men move from church to church each week, and we pair up with a church that has the facilities to house them. Volunteers drive the men to bus stations, cook, clean and do whatever assigned tasks we can to help them get back on their feet. Tonight is something our church likes to do, called men cooking for men; Grilled food, burgers dogs, and Bill's pulled pork. There will be other things, including a lot of dessert from our Family day potluck. we decided it would do better in their tummies than in our tummies! When we dropped the Pulled Pork off , we stayed a bit and Acer and I helped shuck corn.

Acer decided we needed to have corn on the cob tonight for dinner, and I decided it was a good idea, we went off to a local store, sort of an old fashioned place where they bake breads and pies, have a deli section, good produce, and a small greenhouse. they used to have their own apple orchard, but it's been turned into houses now :(.

Calli was home when we came home, and I sent them out to play in the sprinkler while I watered my flowers. Much fun then!

I'm sure there will be more fun later tonight, but we're caught up for now!

This Land is Your Land - With MM solo

Calli has been practicing since January, they memorized 11 songs, and she had this solo. One Year, One week, and 4 hours after she became a citizen she performs a concert of all patriotic songs for her new country. Calli is in the red shirt and blue pants performing the second solo.

Acer and Bill's voices are in the beginning.

Is this the end of dream for Chinese orphan?

Her Story touches my heart, if it touches yours, be sure to pray for her, if you can, please follow your heart to help her.


Click the title to get to the article

Calli's Baptism

Today we celebrated Calli's baptism, We had loved family and friends with us and it was wonderful. thank you Brandon for video-ing this for us! You can hear a sleepy Acer in the background. He conked out during the service.

MM's Recital, accompanied by LM

Calli had her first piano recital in April. She got to play on an $80,000 piano that sounded incredible. She did two pieces on her own and then played 'Ode to Joy' with Acer as 'The Cold Spaghetti Band'

Due to unforeseen weirdness, Acer's drums weren't all working :( He did perform tho', the best he could, 'for the sake of the band'

I now present 'The Cold Spaghetti Band'

The Cold Spaghetti Band!


Acer just loves to play band, he asks everyone who visits to play with him, and Mum and Calli frequently play the piano for him. Earlier today he asked his cousin Brandon to play the Uke, while Acer drummed, but Acer decided that Brandon should not play anymore (not sure if Brandon got a lucky break, or got his Uke skills dissed)

LM's first Bike Ride

Acer got a bike for Family day, he loved it! Now, time to teach him how to steer. Brandon took him all around the block, with his ipod turned on at Acer's request. Acer had no trouble figuring out how to pedal, he just hopped up and went, so I think some time in a local parking lot may do him a world of good on the steering side.

Big Sigh of relief

By Heather
Whew, just off the phone with the Director of Special Services for our school district, they are having a second class in the kindergarten Mandarin Immersion program! Yes, this means Acer is in the program!

Now, All I have to do is find a Mandarin speaker, who writes pinyin, who would learn Braille, who wants a school year job to be Acer's aide.

Thanks for your prayers!

ARRGH!

By Heather

Last June, I did everything I could to make sure Calli was enrolled and there would be NO problems come fall. Nope, it didn;t work and she missed three weeks of school while pass the buck was played.

This year, I have done everything I could to make sure that Acer either got into the Mandarin Immersion Kindergarten Program, or into an All Day kindergarten at the same school. I handed in my paperwork on the very first day I could, and have been to two meetings about it. Right now it sounds like (unconfirmed) Acer did not get into the Mandarin class, and that they've lost the application for him to get into all day kindergarten.

Please Pray, for the paperwork, and for me, because all I can do right now is mutter incoherent prayers .

Acer and school

This has been a year of huge growth for Acer. Most of it has come with maturity, but also a lot of social growth came with his starting a second half day of school each day, with 11 other kids his age.

Last year Acer started going on the bus to a school that had the county VI classroom. It was a half day every day, and he had his teacher and aide almost to himself. Four other children used the room too, but Acer was the only one there the whole time, the others just came in for extra help as needed. At the end of the year Acer's Teacher and OM suggested that the next year Acer go to a regular pre-k class too.

It was a wonderful idea, within a month of starting the second half day, with the new teachers and all the other students Acer was speaking normally, no longer speaking in second and third person. He has friends in that class, friends who tap on things to let him know where they are. He has learned how to interact with others and share toys better. Despite having one on one care in the other school in the mornings, these were just things that Acer couldn't get in that solo session. He has no little friends on our street, the children are all older, and none in church either. He needed to get in with peers, to get socialization. Believe it or not, socialization/social skills are part of an IEP, that is how he got into the pre-K class. It's funny, most of the kids in the class have speech problems, and are far less verbal than Acer. I think it was a shock to their systems to have someone who was so incredibly verbal.

In the VI classroom, Acer did the pre Braille work that is now paying off, yes, he is learning to read! He asks how to spell things all the time, and can even read simple sentences 'I can go' etc. I am very thankful that Acer has had these two years in that class, he has had great learning experiences there, I don't think I could have asked for a better situation. I am sad that they are closing this program down. The school Acer, and Calli, attend is in another district, and that district is not going to be a schools of choice district next year. Since all the kids in the VI program are from other districts in the county, there will be no kids in the program. It was a blessing to us, for both Acer and Calli.

Next year's school is still up in the air, unfortunately. I am praying that Acer is able to get into a Mandarin Immersion all day kindergarten. It is a schools of choice program in our district, one of just a few in the whole nation like it. They would spend half a day with a teacher speaking only English, and Half a Day with a teacher speaking only Mandarin. With schools of choice, children who go to that school as their home school get first choice. Children who are from the same district (as we are) are put into a lottery to fill remaining spaces. We won't know for about a week if he gets into the Mandarin program, or a full day kindergarten program at that same school, or even at another school. Our home school, where Calli is going next fall, doesn't have a full day kindergarten program so we don't him to go there.
So, prayers about his schooling please! it would be great if he could get into that program.

Three Whole Years

Yes, it was three years ago today that a small, confused and scared boy was put into my arms. Someone must have instructed him to say 'I love you' because he did, and the entire room of 13 couples had a collective heart melt moment. Acer was the first child to arrive, the other 12 were coming from a different orphanage. Our guides asked the group if it were okay if we got Acer ahead of the rest because he was already there. They all said yes, and waited while he was brought in, and then the hand off, and the three words that changed our lives forever.

We had a rough start, Acer was grieving and upset that we didn't speak ANY of the languages he did, except for a small bit of Mandarin. He didn't want to sleep unless we were holding him, and we couldn't sit and hold him, we had to stand. We brought home a slightly happier boy, but we then had to take him in for Hernia surgery. We found out his eyes were not going to get any better with surgery, and it didn't matter to us really, thought we'd hoped for his sake that something could be done.

Soon we discovered Acer's gift of Joy. He spreads it with his smile, with his love of life. He is not all sunshine, he is stubborn, loud and sure that everything needs to go his way, but he is just so full of life he makes you want to be too. He is so fast and so fearless, that he makes people doubt he is blind; he is an excellent ambassador of what blind people CAN do.

Little Man, you were the best gift God ever gave the two of us, and we are proud to be your parents