Interesting article for all parents of impaired children, new viewpoint.

The Impact of Childhood Disability: The Parent's Struggle

by Ken Moses, Ph.D.

I was taught that the way to deal with adversity or pain was to "tough it out." If you could avoid showing the pain, then you had "beaten the rap," and dealt with the problem competently. I am a psychologist who works with people who are grieving over profound losses. Few would argue that facing the devastating and continuing loss of having an impaired child is among the most painful experiences that a person can confront. After working with parents of the impaired for many years, I have come to believe that I was given bad advice. I have come to believe that pain is the solution, not the problem.

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I welcome your comments

The Little Piano Man

(I'll add pictures as soon as I get them off my phone, maybe I can get a video)

We've had a piano in the house for about a year and a half now, and Acer has always liked to just wander by plunk out a few notes and then wander away. In August, while we were driving to MIlwaukee, Acer started to actually PLAY on the toy piano we'd brought in the car. It was like a switch turned on and hasn't turned off yet. Month by month I can see him improving. I love to watch him play, with his tiny hands and fingers it's just too cute for words.
Calli has been playing for years, she's been picking up new songs as she goes, but Acer... there are times I don't know which one is playing unless I'm in the room. She pushed/inspired him as he could hear her sounding out songs on the piano, now, he's pushing her to keep ahead of him. They will even play duets together. It is so adorable to see, I want to just hug on them, except of course, that would stop their playing.

Courtesy Rules for Blindness

From the National federation of the Blind.


THE COURTESY RULES OF BLINDNESS
Ten simple, straightforward pointers which encourage sighted persons to feel comfortable and at ease with blind persons, is also helpful to know.

When you meet me don't be ill at ease. It will help both of us if you remember these simple points of courtesy:

I'm an ordinary person, just blind. You don't need to raise your voice or address me as if I were a child. Don't ask my spouse what I want—"Cream in the coffee?"—ask me.
I may use a long white cane or a guide dog to walk independently; or I may ask to take your arm. Let me decide, and please don't grab my arm; let me take yours. I'll keep a half-step behind to anticipate curbs and steps.
I want to know who's in the room with me. Speak when you enter. Introduce me to the others. Include children, and tell me if there's a cat or dog.
The door to a room or cabinet or to a car left partially open is a hazard to me.
At dinner I will not have trouble with ordinary table skills.
Don't avoid words like "see." I use them, too. I'm always glad to see you.
I don't want pity. But don't talk about the "wonderful compensations" of blindness. My sense of smell, touch, or hearing did not improve when I became blind. I rely on them more and, therefore, may get more information through those senses than you do—that's all.
If I'm your houseguest, show me the bathroom, closet, dresser, window—the light switch, too. I like to know whether the lights are on.
I'll discuss blindness with you if you're curious, but it's an old story to me. I have as many other interests as you do.
Don't think of me as just a blind person. I'm just a person who happens to be blind.
In all 50 states, the law requires drivers to yield the right of way when they see my extended white cane. Only the blind may carry white canes. You see more blind persons today walking alone, not because there are more of us, but because we have learned to make our own way.

For more information about gifts, bequests, programs for the blind, or other matters concerning blindness or the blind, contact the local chapter in your area or contact:

The National Federation of the Blind
200 East Wells Street
at Jernigan Place
Baltimore, Maryland 21230
Phone: 410-659-9314
E-mail: nfb@nfb.org

The most beautiful part of the wedding

Here is our Beautiful Bride, Tammy, the lovely cousin Lucy, and the extremely cute Calli - all together.
Lucy and Calli walked hand in hand. Calli kept them moving smoothly along and Lucy kept them on the path.

 

 

 

 

Girl in a spin

Here's Calli in the casual dress Aunt Kerry made her, before she changed into the Flower Girl dress. I think having the wedding next to a playscape was a wonderful idea.

 

 

 

Evey girl's crazy 'bout a sharp dressed man

Acer really enjoys getting dressed up, and he managed to stay reasonably clean throughout the day.

 

 

 

 

Joe N Tammy"s wedding Part 1

Yes, Here they are, some pictures of the wedding, from 9/6. Better late than never. I'll be adding more whenever I can today, but it seems I can only upload 4 at a time.
Here is the back of Acer's fancy hair
and different views of Calli's fancy hair before she changed to her flower girl dress.

Longer here than anywhere

We missed it, I was planning on celebrating the day that Acer had been with us longer than he'd been anywhere else, so I went to a site and did the calculations. Not only did I miss it, I missed it by 39 days! I guess the start of school threw me and I never even thought about it, even tho' I'd been looking forward to that celebration for a long time. Oh well, only another 9 years until we'll get to do it for Calli.

Delayed Freedom

So, I finally have Acer enrolled in an afternoon Pre-K class,as of last Monday. Tuesday, the class had a field trip which we decided not to go on. Yesterday and Today Calli has been home with a fever and dry cough. My longed for breaks of quiet have not yet arrived. I have hope for tomorrow. Calli should be well enough to go to school, Acer will have a full day's school less a half hour for lunch between bus rides, and I will have some peace.

So incredibly long

I don't think I've gone this long between posts in... who know how long. I haven't been on blogger, I haven't been checking people's blogs, it's been odd.

We have been incredibly busy, and I've been fighting a depression. I've fought myself through the days with the delicious comforting sweetness of my Mountain Dew and have gained ALOT of weight; but there is lightness in my (mental) steps again and I no longer feel so emotionally exhausted.

We have -
Gone camping with the White Cane Campers,
Gone Camping on Drummond Island (tents, no ammenities, Calli loved the quiet and the unthinkable size of Lake Huron but not the uneven ground)
Calli has been in a wedding as a flower girl (beautiful!)
Fought with the school districts as to why no one had enrolled her, even tho' I'd done my paperwork back in June.
Enrolled Acer in a second half day of school at a different school. He now comes home, eats, gets back on the bus and goes for the afternoon. His second day will be Wednesday.
I've dropped being in church band, it was too late for the kids to still be awake when it got over at 9. Acer goes to bed at 6:30 so he can be awake at 6 AM for school. I miss the singing, but Bill needed to be there not only to sing, but also to make sure the sound system was working.
Calli has lost seven teeth since she's been home. Even tho' she knows it's one of us, she enjoys the money the tooth fairy brings. She hasn't spent any of it yet, but it makes her happy to have it.
Calli underwent an exam under anesthesia for her eyes, she was very nervous and scared, but Bill and I were there for her. That was the first day she hugged me around the neck and said 'You are my MaMa and I love you! later she did the same and said 'You are my MaMa and you are Great!' She has since said similar things to Bill. I had tears in my eyes.
She has picked apples and beans and dug carrots and beets at Bill parents (Acer was off on the playscape at the time)
She has grown two inches and gained 4 pounds.
We took a road trip to Milwaukee to see Calli's best friends from Bethel, and my Aunt Marlene. The kids did really well on the trip, their first 8 hour one.
She started Sunday School, and is starting to make friends there.
Calli is doing well in school, her spelling tests usually only have one wrong. She is able to memorize the words, but often isn't sure what they mean, so we do spelling and definitions every night.
She likes school a lot and is really happy to be going and learning everything. For those in the know, she's almost through learning her contractions, yes, all 189 of them in contracted form (grade 2) braille.

I am sure there are events/items I'm missing, I'll try to fill them in as I remember, and to keep up on future happenings.
Hope you all are well, drop me a comment and let me know!