Reading breakthrough for the Little Man

Acer, just because it's a cute picture.


When a sighted child learns to read, they are constantly surrounded by letters, words and numbers. They are everywhere on signs, mail, cereal boxes, all over, you can look and see letters. For a blind child, it's the result of hours and hours and days and days of hard work and physical practice, they have to learn how to follow lines of dots across the page (not as easy as it sounds) , they have to learn how to differentiate between the six different dots of a Braille cell, they then have to learn the combinations of dots and how they translate into letters. Braille is only available in Braille books, homework sheets, and the occasional elevator. You can't just go to the cereal box and start reading the ingredients, you can't go to a Hallmark store and read the cards there, you can't even read what's on the shelves in grocery stores. You just have to practice, practice, practice.

Furthermore, as you get more advanced, you start to learn contracted Braille. Yup, Braille takes up a lot of space so they use as many shortcuts as possible. For example, td=today, tm=tomorrow, tn=tonight, so there are 189 Braille contractions that are use commonly. That's where Calli is, almost all the way through learning those. She learns those as she learns to spell the words, and then spells them both ways during practice for her spelling tests. I'm learning them too, as I translate her spelling words into print, but it's not an easy thing, it's just something I need to do to help her with her homework. BTW she generally gets 100% on her spelling tests, 2 wrong is about the most she's gotten wrong on a test.

The other end of the spectrum, learning wise not smarts wise, is Acer. He has been in the VI classroom for two years now, and I am happy to say that he now knows how to read all his letters! PLUS, he is now understanding that letters are put together into WORDS, yes, Acer has now read words to me. Granted, they were all the same word, and those words were one of two or three words on a page, but he found them and read them! He could also read all the letters on the pages, one letter at a time, but the word he could read, thanks to author David Carter - BUGS! yes, 'Feely Bugs' is our new favorite book for Acer to read to us. and, what is more appropriate for a child of mine, than that the first word he reads is Bugs?

Hurrah for technology

Okay blog buddies, I admit it, I've been leaving you and spending time on Face Book instead of here. It was short and easy, and fun. Now, however, I have the ability to have my posts here, show up there! Yes, I can do both things at once. Thanks to Bill, I am back. Also, thanks to no longer being post adoption depressed, Thanks to having more of an interest in life again, and thanks to so many things that make me feel like normal, and feel like I have the time and energy to type.

Please forgive me, I know it's been so long since I've done regular updates, and far longer since I've posted any pictures, I think that now I can be both here and on FB things will be much smoother.

Piano Recital

Thanks to the generosity of a friend of mine, Calli has been taking piano lessons for the past few months. Calli has the ability to play by ear, and can generally play all the praise songs our worship band sings, at least the melody line. She's now adding in more left hand playing, and learning how to properly move her hands over the keyboard to where she needs to be next. She is very good about practicing her songs four times each, every day, and Acer usually will accompany her on the drums if she playing when he's around. So, I started calling them the Cold Spaghetti band, after a favorite song of theirs.

Calli's first recital was saturday, and she played two songs on her own, and one song as the CSB, accompanied by Acer. For Calli's songs, she did well, and remembered to bow afterwards, and showed no signs of nerves. Acer almost fell asleep during the performances, as there were six others singing, playing tenor sax, playing piano, but he made it through to the end, when he was performing.

There were a few mix ups before the program which left us not enough time to get Acer's drum set up all perfectly, and when it came time, there were a few pieces not making any noise at all, His bass, high hats and snare were silent. Sigh. I told him he just needed to play without them and to keep going and he did. I was so proud of the both of them, they came, things weren't right but they kept on and did what they needed to do to support each other as a band. Calli's version of 'Ode to Joy' on an $80,000 piano was just lovely, and Acer's semi-silent drumming kept the beat as best he could. What, you didn't know 'Ode to Joy' had drum accompaniment?

Calli got a bouquet of flowers from Granny Pat and Uncle James, and Acer got a boutonniere. YeYe and NaiNai made it out to the performance despite my almost sending them off in the wrong direction about an hour away, and NaiNai made TWO blueberry pies, one for each child, to their great delight, and ours too of course.

Bill had to work that time, and couldn't even take a long lunch because of staffing issues so he missed it entirely. Uncle James was sick, so he missed it, despite physically being in the building. I even forgot to put batteries in the video cam. However Cousin Brandon made it, and video'd it on his phone, so hopefully, we'll have video for you to see, sometime.

I was most proud of the kids, not for their accomplishments, but for their perseverance, that was what made the performance great.

Russian Adoption issue = BIG talk with Miss Missy

Yes, we've changed her name, Miss Missy fits her better. :)

So, because of the issue, I had a serious sit down LONG talk with MM. We talked about it seriously, and she came up with good questions, and logic of her own. I said that the lady had made very poor decisions, hadn't planned, and that now many people - both children waiting to be adopted and parents in the process - were hurt. I wanted her to know about this in case people asked her about it, or said something hurtful like 'your parents will put you on a plane back to China'. Yes, I've actually heard of another child being told that.

I assured her that we were prepared in case something happened, that we knew where to go to get her help if her brain got sick - how I described what might have been wrong with the little boy - and told her I didn't believe it would ever happen to her, but just in case we were ready. I also made sure that she knew she had access to people to talk to too, our Social Worker, Peggy, will always be available for her.

We talked about different countries' policies on adoption, and how we talked about how Bill and I had come to decide to adopt and then decide on China. We covered a lot of topics, mental illness, preparation for adoption, how there were many resources available for people, and others. All these issues were discussed with her right by my side, glued to me almost by her own choice. I was glad, the physical contact actually reassured the both of us, me that she'd put herself there because it was reassuring, and her because she could snuggle up and be safe while she discussed scary issues.

She was most upset that the families could not become families now, because one person hadn't asked for help. She kept coming back to that, so I know it was important, and I reassured her that we would get her help or us help if any of us needed it. She even commented on how the boy, who would have had trust issues to begin with, now would be even less likely to trust anyone. I was pleased she thought of that one on her own.

I felt this was a good, and important building block, she now has tools to respond to people if they say something mean. "My parents KNOW where to go for help, and will ask for it, they would NEVER send me back" and she won't be blindsided by someone asking about these issues.

Note: I wasn't able to finish this post yesterday because a friend came over. This talk was so important to Calliandra that she told my friend all about it. It makes me double glad to have done it.

Calli's a thinker, a worrier almost, so knowing this will help. An example of this is; Mum fell and hit her forehead twice on the bathtub due to a slippery bath mat. She went to emergency and then stayed for 8 days because she was also running a bronchitis related fever that wouldn't go away. After she was released, she came to stay with us because we have recliner she could sleep in. The recliner is a small one, and is under Calli's loft, so they have been roommates ever since. Calli is looking towards the future though, and started to worry about how SHE would get ME to the Dr's when I was old and sick. I was touched by her concern, and said there were ways for us to go places, and that when the time came, she would know how to use them already because she is smart and competent. I mentioned the small buses just for that purpose, and that seemed to appease her worries. It was just so Calli, to be worried about the future, and taking care of me, now when she is only 10.

We weren't there, we don't know.

A lot of press has been spent on the actions of one ill thought out plan about how to deal with a disturbed child. People wonder, as we've adopted internationally, what is my take. So, here it is. The lady and her family's actions were wrong. She was over her head, but didn't contact her agency, and didn't contact the authorities in her state for help.

It is not unheard of for children with problems like this to exist, but they are as rare in the adoption world as in the bio child world. Why the woman didn't follow the normal route of help in situations like this, I don't know, I wasn't there.

Did the woman do her prep work, check out all the classes on adoption parenting that are available, pour over attachment websites like I did? I would think so, there is a lot of time, money and effort that goes in to any international adoption, I would think that she did all those things that the agencies and governments require. I don't know though, I wasn't there.

Did the Russian agency hide existing conditions? they might have, it's been done before, I'm sure it will be done again. Sometimes it's done with the best of intentions, to get children homes, sometimes it's done for the orphanage donation. I don't know, I wasn't there.

I do know that adoption is an extremely personal decision, almost more so than the decision to conceive. Conception, after all, doesn't require loads of paperwork, classes, proven financial stability, good health, and a myriad of other items that add up to fulfilling the regulations of a government, including a State Gov't for domestic adoptions. I know that, I've been there.

I do know that the wise go into adoptions, of any age, hoping for the best and expecting the worst. Happily, we've been blessed by our two, but we were prepared for issues. We are prepared for issues because they can still come up, especially as the kids start to learn more about life. We have a plan for that though, we know where to go if we need help, we know we aren't experts and can't handle everything on our own. Know that, and have a map made to get us through the worst conditions.

But, Isn't that what all parents should have? We aren't promised healthy, intelligent children even if we are healthy and intelligent and give birth to them ourselves. When we give birth, does that somehow make any issues that come with the chid easier to handle than if we adopted a child with issues? Almost, the reverse, if the issues are known. we chose to adopt children who are blind, we knew that going in. We didn't have to deal with the issues of if I would've done this, would the child have been born okay?

So you as you read this, if you're a parent, what's your roadmap for the future look like, does it have paths to all the places you'd need in worst case scenarios? Are you ready for your world to crash down if your child becomes mentally or physically unstable, and it's more than you can bear. Have you ever thought about how far you would go to protect your child's future? For example, would it be better to sign them up immediately for a group home for long term care with many visits from you, or would it be better to be totally dependent on you until one of you dies? I've played through these scenarios in my mind, and I know what sort of actions I'd take to protect my child's quality of life.

Maybe, this mom never thought of those sorts of problems, ones that would shatter her life and the boy's. I don't know, I wasn't there, but I know that she should have, every parent should have, no matter where their child was born, and to whom.

Big Readers

Calli participated in the Braille Readers are Leaders program this year. The results, the T-shirts etc, went out this week. We were very proud of Calli for reading over 1000 pages (forget the exact number) the winner for her grade group grade 2-3 read over 11,000 pages! I've just got to say Wow! that's a huge number.
Hearing how many this girl read, has fired up our competitor. She now has plans to knit all her scarfs etc for Christmas presents before October so that she has more free time for reading.
We did enter Calli into the special category because she was reading in a foreign language to her, English, instead of Mandarin, so we'll see if anything comes there, we'll find out in the beginning of April.
Anyone else compete this year?
BTW the K-1 winner read over 1500 pages I think.

R2-D2 Look Out!

We call him R2-NoCU

MM's 2009 Birthday

All the photos that we took from the now newly named MM

No more Little Man

As Acer is now 5, he has decided he is BIG now, and there have been a few changes he feels necessary. Yes, Little Man or Little Mr Man, has gone away. He is now to be known simply as Mr Man.
Also, he has decided that he needs to eat more with utensils, and work on his table manners. Yes, he decided this, over the last few months, that this would happen when he was 5.

Sunday, Acer had a great Birthday party. At his request, we served ice cream floats and chocolate pie. We had only a few people over, Acer's closest of our adult friend, Vicki and Will, and then relatives, Cousin Brandon, Uncle James, Uncle David, his girl friend Autumn, and YeYe and NaiNai (Bill's Parents). He actually only got three gifts, but the last one he opened was the doozy, yes it was a real full sized drum set from YeYe and NaiNai as a Christmas and Birthday gift combined. It's an electronic set, the ION professional set, and it has several wonderful features, including headphones. Uncle David assembled the set and set it up for Acer. He's also the one who'd done the research to make sure it was worth buying.

Acer has been on the set for hours every day since. He had a half day of school on Monday, a Santa breakfast. I'm sure that Santa was surprised when Acer sat on his lap and told him what he'd already gotten for Christmas. Aside from that time off the drums, Acer was on them for most of the day. Brandon and I estimate 6 hours to be on the low side.

Yesterday was a full day of school, and Acer brought cookies to each school. Uncle James' cookies are an old family recipe, and he made us up 4 dozen for the party at home, and both schools. They are very big cookies, with oatmeal, walnuts and chocolate chips, almost a meal in themselves.

Acer has had a great year, we've watched him develop so much. He's much more independent, yet has better playing with others skills. He's going to two different half day programs, and doing well. He transitioned off naps and into an early bedtime. He's daytime dry about 99.5% of the time, and when he's not, it's because the bus couldn't stop to take him to the bathroom, even tho' he told them. He's stopped speaking in the second and third person, he's started playing the piano, not just playing on, but playing. He sounds out songs and can play quite a bit of Fur Elise. He's gotten a sister, and has had a great relationship with her, very little sibling rivalry on his part. He is learning the braille letters, and is showing a real interest in learning how to read. He's grown in height too, up to 39.5" He seems to grow about a half an inch about every three months. He is a lot of fun, and a joy to have as a son. We are so blessed.

Yes, I'll post pictures, jut not right now, we have to get ready for a funeral of a dear woman from church. :(

2009 Christmas Pagent

We knew that she was talented, but the church asked her to play along with the Violin player in the Praise Band at the pagent. Acer decided that he needed to make the occasional comment (ala MST3k) but it is beautifully done.

Blanky Monster Claims another victim

As you can see, we have a hungry blanky monster.

LM got honor roll honors today! she got the trifecta - academic, citizenship, principal. Go Calli!

Interesting Article on parenting

Read this today, liked it decided to post it here

Blech and Hurrah!

So, I've been down sick. My entire adult life, I've always gotten sick faster from sick children around me than from other adults around me. Maybe it's the introduction of new germs, I'm not sure. anyway, I've been down and have only moved about 2 steps up towards being normal again. Sigh.

I have been proud to tears this week as Calli is going to get an honor at the Honor Roll ceremony at her school. She has come so far so quickly, I could not be more proud of her accomplishments and her willingness to learn.

A Little Early but....

still cute.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Hands that Heal

Moving Mountains Hubley Style's Rebekka Hubley is a mom I've met in yahoo groups and then in person. Answering a question from her about a girl in Calliandra's foster home, led to her interest in and starting the adoption paperwork for her. We went camping together, as part of the White Cane Campers in August. She was able to connect to every family there, and she and her daughter Hannah made a great addition to our group.

Rebekka also started an excellent mission two years ago, called Hands That Heal. She was interviewed about it here
Please check it, and their blog out. Perhaps this is a ministry that would call to you, to foster one of these little ones in your home someday!

Leavings

Maybe that should be leafings; today's post is all about Leaves.
Okay, mostly about leaves.
Last Wed., Acer was home form school sick and napping, and I was downstairs reading. I started hearing a blower, but assumed that it was at a neighbor's house. I mean, we don't blow our leaves we simply mow them back into the soil as both a soil amendment and as a weed preventer for next year. It was a persistent noise, and seemed to close, so after a bit, I went up to see. Yup, there was a blower going on our property, run by a guy I'd never seen before. It seems he'd gotten our house, tri-level, red brick, green shutters, silver mini van, mixed with the neighbor's two doors down, tri-level red brick, green shutters, GREEN mini van. He finished up a little, by blowing the leaves off the driveway and sidewalks, and then went down to the other house. Nice enough guy, let Acer check out what the noise was, but still....odd.
This weekend, knowing Calli was disappointed by our not raking up the leaves so she could have a leaf pile, I sent Calli over to Mum's to help Uncle James with the leaves. Mum has two HUGE sycamore trees, and it's not unusual for her to have 60 bags of leaves over the season. On Saturday, Calli helped by bagging all the leaves Uncle James raked - 20 bags. On Sunday she ASKED to go back and they bagged another 7 bags. She also helped take stuff to the recycle place where she had fun throwing things into the appropriate bins.
Acer is mostly over being sick, and we did find his glasses so Hurrah there. He also has a new you tube love - Instructional piano playing videos and piano videos in general. He prefers jazz, boogie woogie and blues piano to classical, but still has his favorites in classical, Moonlight Sonata and Fur Elise have top ranking.
I seem to have some down with an ENT infection and am fighting it, but it's leaving me pretty drained.
We invited a girl from Calli's school to go to church with us. B. is also blind, but a couple years older than Calli. B. and Calli have played together on the playground, and even eaten lunch together the first month or so Calli's been in school. I made sure to print out another Braille copy of the Sunday School Lesson and service bulletin so she could follow just as Calli does. I stayed home and slept and restd, but by all accounts, B/ wants to come back. Hurrah!

Off to school for the Little Man

Acer seems to have his energy back, and his voice so off he went. Of course we couldn't find his glasses so there were some moments of angst this morning but at least he was off. THe glasses are for protection, not sight, so we don't HAVE to have him wear them, around the house, he tends to take them off. Obviously he did, somewhere, probably 4 or 5 days ago and we just haven't noticed. Calli was even checking out underneath Acer's bed, but they weren't there. Acer's not home from morning school yet, we'll see if he's okay for afternoon school too.

Still down for the count

Acer is sicker today than yesterday. Yesterday I would have said he was headed back to school, this morning, the cough was back and the voice was back to being hoarse. He didn't even argue when I told him he was going to take a morning and an afternoon nap.
Calli feels okay, she just has a slight dry cough, so yesterday she napped and went to bed early. She was sick two weeks ago, but has not shaken this cough yet.

Some Halloween Pix

But before we get into that, Just a note that Acer's sleeping the days away seems to have helped. He no longer sounds so incredibly hoarse. He has a raspy voice to begin with, so when he gets sick well..... it sounds like he's an 80 year old smoker.

Here's The Princess Calliandra pulling her coach. Can't imagine where her horses have gone that she's pulling it herself ;) She was going FAST! Bill and I were walking faster than normal to keep up with her. We put Acer in the wagon to start, he finished up in Bill's arms but at least he didn't spend the whole night there as he has in past years. I'm sad that the monkey costume will be going away next year, I love that costume.



Here's the Princess with her hair down, but you can still see the long dangly earrings she loves and some of the makeup we used to make her more glamourous for the evening. I think this is what she'll look like as an adult. So beautiful. Sorry the pictures are so goofy, I was snapping pictures with my phone while she was scarfing pizza.